Why Transitions Can Feel So Hard: And How To Navigate Change Without Frustration

Have you ever noticed how certain transitions in life feel harder than the season you’re actually in?

Sometimes our energy begins to shift before the rest of our lives have caught up. We may feel restless, impatient, or frustrated without fully understanding why.

In this episode, we explore why transitions like the shift from winter to spring can feel emotionally and energetically challenging. Instead of seeing frustration as something to fix or suppress, we look at how it can be a signal that our energy is changing and asking for movement.

Using the seasonal shift from winter to spring as an example, I share the approach I use personally to move through these transitions with more awareness and less resistance.

This episode offers a way to think about change that helps us respond to shifting energy with curiosity and alignment rather than pressure or self-judgment.

In this episode we explore:

• Why transitions often feel more uncomfortable than the seasons themselves
 • How frustration can be a signal that energy is beginning to move
 • The energetic shift from winter’s inward focus to spring’s rising momentum
 • Why our lives and responsibilities don’t always change as quickly as our energy does
 • A personal strategy for navigating major energy shifts with more ease and awareness
 • How to work with emotional and energetic change instead of fighting against it

This conversation is an invitation to approach moments of change with a little more patience and curiosity, and to begin recognizing how your body and energy naturally move through cycles over time.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Tao of Humaning. I'm Dr. Christine, and I'm so thrilled that you have joined us for another episode today. I am going to be talking about this idea of why transitions feel so hard sometimes and how to navigate change without frustration. This is such a key aspect to how we human and how we human together. There's this way that we get so cozy and comfortable with the way that things are going. And yeah, sometimes life will present us with change and transitions, and there's we meet that with resistance because, you know, for a lot of reasons. Sometimes because we don't want the next transition, and sometimes because we're unsure or we're looking at the unknown as coming next, and that sometimes doesn't feel comfortable, right? Um, what I have found in studying five elements and Taoism over the last, well, especially the last 10 or 15 years, I've really been leaning into this system of Taoist um cosmology where there is this energetic returning to center and pausing before we pivot into the next thing. And we use this with the five elements. So if you've listened to the five elements episode, you know, there is this seasonality and movement to the way that we originally learn them. So it moves from spring, right, into summer, into late summer, into fall, into winter, into spring, right? And it circles around all five of the elements. With this other system, it moves always from one season back to center, back to earth, and then it moves to the next season. And it's really been interesting to see how this has played out in my own life and practice, and also the students that I work with in my Sacred Heart Qigong community. We've been implementing this strategy for the last two years, where we actually have these kind of micro practices of recognizing change and being able to set aside a small bit of time to go back to center, go back to earth. And what that what that ends up doing is it it helps us to build these muscles so that when life actually brings us this big change or transformation, our nervous system is set up so that it's like, oh, okay, it's another change or transition. It's it doesn't go into freakout mode. It instead goes into, well, I wonder what might feel nourishing in this, or I wonder what's needed. There's um another tool that I use a lot is in times of change and trans uh transition is leaning into these three, I was taught them as the three hero questions. So what's needed? What's next? What's needed, and how can I use this? Those are are fantastic when you're really in the thick of things, especially when you're really in the thick of things. They're great questions regardless. Um, what's next? What's needed? How can I use this? Right? It starts to activate our resources in a way that is useful, right? So we're not like feeling at the effect of the things that are showing up in our lives. And that that's a whole other side episode we could see. Um, but what so going back to today's topic of you know why transitions can feel so hard or why change can feel so hard, part of it is this, you know, we get comfortable and we don't necessarily want to be, we think that there's discomfort on the other side or unknown, um, which is often true. And what I found is that there's so much value in practicing before you need it. When it comes to energetics or, you know, emotional wellness practices, when you're in the thick of something, it's really hard to implement a new strategy because you're in it, right? But if you've built these muscles along the way, your system settles and receives what life is is bringing to you in a very different way. And so the way that we do this, so I've been practicing this for, well, I've been practicing it probably for 10 years, but for consistently with a group of people the last two years, and it has been wildly different. So what we do is we look at the transition between winter and spring. I'll use that as an example today. That's oftentimes the most dramatic change in energy. So using five elements as our kind of guide map here. So winter, we're hibernating, we're cozy, we're like doing the reading, and it's dark, and like, you know, we get all like in hibernation mode and it's lovely. After that comes spring, which is that wood energy that we talked about in the episode on five elements, and we, you know, spring is like directional, and those like little sprouts are bursting through the soil, and there is movement everywhere, and life is just like happening. It's amazing. It can feel a little bit jarring. Oftentimes, even when we're excited and feeling ready for that transition and that change, our our system like almost doesn't catch up quite as that doesn't align quite as quickly as we think it will. And that can show up in feelings of frustration when the energy starts, like late winter, early spring. You can start to notice when you're driving, you might notice it in other drivers, you may notice it in yourself as a driver, that the feeling of like people being a bit more frustrated, right? Or just like, oh, that guy cut me off, or like, oh, why is everyone in such a rush? And you know, that's I laugh now because it's like, oh yeah, spring's coming. Everyone's bumping up against that shift from really quiet, sleepy to okay, let's go, right? Um, so what we do in this practice is we instead of moving, you know, directly from winter to spring, we insert a pause. And we do that by returning to Earth. So instead of going around the circle of, you know, some you'll see the five element circles, you'll go from winter time back to earth and you hang out there for a couple of weeks. It's actually about 18 days before the transition into the next season of spring. And what that does is it gives us this opportunity to be like, wow, okay, where did I, where was I this last 10 weeks? What just happened in the last two to three months? And what about that felt nourishing, right? Bringing in that earth energy, that like comfort, nourishing, grounded qualities, right? Of like, okay, I feel safe here. I'm dedicating this time to seeing what worked, what felt really great, what did I not love, and what could maybe not move forward with me into spring. And what am I looking forward to? So bringing in a bit of that visioning of the springtime and the wood element. And it can be so simple. We could do this through, you know, journaling. This could be something that you do in a meditation in the mornings for a week or two. It could be just a post-it. I use post-its all the time for things like this, where I'll just write down, like, you know, I wonder um what nourishment is available. And I'll stick that within my line of sight throughout my day. So if I'm, you know, sometimes I'll put them on my bathroom mirror, in my car, wherever, on your desk, somewhere that you're gonna see it and it's gonna interrupt your normal flow of things. I also use the reminders app on my phone for this, which is a really useful magical tool because our phones always are gonna get our attention, right? We're gonna check our phones at some point. So why not use that as a reminder? So setting up this dedicated time where, you know, I always think about when I was in college, I grew up in Maine and I did my undergrad out in Southern California. And on the breaks, in between things, I would travel back to Maine and I would see my family, which I am very blessed to have, a wonderful and supportive family. So that was a nourishing, very earthy, earth-nourishing kind of experience for me. And I was able to go back. I didn't know I was doing this at the time, but I had, you know, you kind of had a built-in opportunities when you're in school. Or if you have kids in school now and you're a mom, you could also use these breaks as this kind of a check-in. It doesn't have to be around the equinox and the solstices, but it can be. Um, but I would have this time, I would go back and I would reflect on the last few months and everything that happened and what was great and what was not so great. And, you know, it would also naturally move conversation into what's coming next and what am I excited about and what am I nervous about, what am I not sure, um, where do I need support, right? So looking at that, bringing the energy of that kind of experience to our seasonal calendar and our, you know, our Google calendars nowadays, right? Like I will actually write in like these are these are the two weeks. So if you're looking, if we're using this shift from winter to spring as an example, um using, you know, from after the first couple days of March up until the 2021st, 2021, it doesn't have to be exact. And I think that's something that's also really important, and people can get a little bit fundamentally about the dates of these things. Um, I like to look at, and I find it more useful to look at the general energy of where we are in a calendar space, right? It's not going to shift wildly from one day to the next for this purpose. So early March, sit down with a piece of paper. It doesn't even have to be in a pretty journal. This can be something that you write and you spend some time reflecting on, and then you burn and you have a little ceremony, have a little bonfire. Great. It can be something that you do in a dedicated journal for this kind of work. Also great. I think the the biggest thing is is really tapping into why we're doing these things. Why is because by having these little micro exercises, we're a we're building the muscles to better handle when those bigger changes and transitions happen so that they feel less scary and less frustrating, and we're better able to be like, oh, look at that. Wow, another change. Okay. I've had some practice with this, right? I might even be able to find some fun in exploring this change and being able to shape something from, you know, the little bit that we know about transitions and what's coming. There's a lot of room for creativity, right? And where can we fit more of ourselves, especially if your life feels very full and rushed? Adding in a really simple, easy practice like this pays off big time. And it's it's really just about setting in those reminders and having that, you know, space to come and listen to a podcast, right? That's what I I do. I listen in the car, right? Like driving to pick up, driving to work, driving, driving, driving, like bomb life, like um having some of that time be dedicated to nourishing ourselves and being able to specifically build, you know, it's just like going to the gym. You work out different muscles, right? Different muscle groups, and then everything works together, of course, right? This particular practice is about is about training for change and transitions and how we can do that in a way that feels great. Most of the time. Sometimes the changes happen, they come at us, we're like, ah, right. Like, I don't want to. It's sometimes we don't have a choice, right? So then that comes into okay, what's needed here and how can I use this? Right. And being able to lean into these little things of like, oh, okay, I'm this is a mini time of transition right now. So I'm gonna practice and I'm gonna practice seeing what was useful and what I want to keep, and then what's coming next, and you know, what are some cool things that I want to be bringing in in the next couple of months? I really love that it breaks it down into little chunks of time, and this isn't something that's like, oh okay, we're getting like a five-year plan, or like, what are you gonna be doing next summer, right? I'm a very probably type C mom right to pick a category. Some things I'm I'm nice in type A about, and some things I'm real type B about, and being able to have these little small useful tools just brings me so much joy because I get to do something that I know is nourishing myself, and I know that I'm getting benefit from sitting down and being like, okay, two months, three, you know, two to three months. Like, what just went down? All right, what was awesome? Okay, great. And then looking forward of like, okay, this next little chunk of time, I could do that, right? Even when I feel busy and there's a lot going on, I can sit and do this kind of thing, right? And that helps things to not feel so hard. And I think that all of us could use some more tools in our lives that help things feel less hard and perhaps even a little bit fun. So, you know, that's what I do in terms, and I'll do that every shift. So I'll do that in March, and I'll do it again in June, and I'll do it again in the fall, and I do it again in winter. So there's four times when I do this practice, and you know, I've shared the way that I do it. I there's some nuance to like I'll bring in different elements to different seasons, or it doesn't you don't have to do all of that. I think the simpler the better, honestly. And if the way that I did it resonates with you and you want to try that, fantastic. And perhaps it maybe even inspired you to think of a new way that might work for you to do these kinds of things. And I think that is absolutely fabulous too. And if that's true, either way, let me know in the comments. I would love to hear how this landed for you. And if you'd like to have some more examples of how we could human together and find our path, our little Tao along the way, um, in ways that might make things feel a little bit easier and perhaps a little bit more fun. Until next time.